The arrival of a child is one of the great thresholds of a life, and Jewish tradition has always marked it with community, a name and a blessing. In Spiritual Humanistic Judaism we welcome every child — of any sex — in the same way: with a naming ceremony that brings the child into the Jewish people and into the circle of those who will help raise them.

A naming ceremony for every child

Traditionally, boys enter the covenant through brit milá, circumcision on the eighth day, while girls are often named more quietly, in the synagogue. As Spiritual Humanistic Jews we prefer a naming ceremony for both sexes rather than circumcision, for three reasons:

• No commandment requires it. A Judaism that does not derive its practice from divine command has no obligation to circumcise. What remains is the human purpose of the ritual — welcome, naming, and gathering the family and community around a new life.
• That purpose can be met without an irreversible procedure on someone who cannot consent. A child’s body belongs to the child.
• Sons and daughters should enter the people by the same door. A single ceremony for any child removes the assumption that boys and girls become Jews in different ways.

This is a preference, not a test of belonging. Families who choose brit milá are part of our community and will be supported in that choice.

A tradition that already exists

Naming ceremonies are not a modern invention. Sephardi Jews have long welcomed baby girls with las fadas (also called zeved habat, “the gift of a daughter”), a joyful gathering at home soon after the birth. The baby is passed from guest to guest and blessed, verses from the Song of Songs are sung, her name is announced, and the family shares sweets and songs, often in Ladino. The name fadas is usually linked to the Spanish word for the good fairies of folk tradition who were said to bless a newborn’s future.

Our naming ceremony grows from this root, extending it to every child as a zeved hayeled — the gift of a child. The child is held and blessed by the people who will help raise them, their name is spoken for the first time before the community, and the family celebrates with food and song.

Zéved HaBat · Zéved HaBen זבד הבת · זבד הבן

The naming ceremony from Seder Berachot.

The child is brought to the front, or presented in a circle, with their parents and the people being honoured. The child may be wrapped in a tallit and held on a pillow.

We sing:

הנה מה טוב ומה נעים
שבת עמים גם יחד׃

Hiné ma-tov umá-na’ím, shévet amím gam-yáḥad.

Behold how good and how pleasant it is for people to dwell together.

The naming. Pause after veyikaré shemáh or shemó, and the parents call out the child’s name.

זכרון חסדי אמהות וחסדי אבות׃
שרה ורבקה, רחל ולאה, בלהה וזלפה,
אברהם, יצחק ויעקב,
ומרים הנביאה ואסתר המלכה׃
ונברך את הילדה הזאת · את הילד הזה,
ויקרא שמה · שמו ________________
באהבה ובמזל טוב ובשעת ברכה, ונאמר אמן׃

Zichrón ḥasdé imahót veḥasdé avót: Sará veRivká, Raḥél veLe’á, Bilhá veZilpá, Avrahám, Yitsḥák veYa’akóv, uMiryám hanevi’á ve’Estér hamalká.

Unevaréch et hayaldá hazót · et hayéled hazé, veyikaré shemáh · shemó ________________ be’ahavá uvemazál tov uvish’át berachá, venomár Amén.

Let us remember the kindness of our mothers and fathers: Sarah and Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, Bilhah and Zilpah, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and Miriam the prophet and Esther the queen.

And let us bless this child, and their name shall be ________________ , with love, with good fortune and in an hour of blessing. And let us say: Amén.

Sweets may be thrown, and everyone may call out מזל טוב · Mazál tov!

Seven friends and relatives now read a blessing each, passing the Kiddush cup around — or seven blessings shared among however many people are here. The parents begin.

1 · Identity

To a daughter

יהי רצון שתדעי את עצמך,
ושהאהבה תתן לך מקום להיות מי שאת׃

Yehí ratsón shetede’í et atsméch, vesheha’ahavá titén lach makóm lihyót mi she’át.

To a son

יהי רצון שתדע את עצמך,
ושהאהבה תתן לך מקום להיות מי שאתה׃

Yehí ratsón shetedá et atsmechá, vesheha’ahavá titén lechá makóm lihyót mi she’atá.

May you know yourself, and may love give you room to be who you are.

2 · Love

To a daughter

יהי רצון שתדעי אהבה תמיד, בכל צורותיה׃
שתתני אהבה ותקבלי אותה בחפש,
ושתתן לך כח׃

Yehí ratsón shetede’í ahavá tamíd, bechól tsurotéha. Shetitní ahavá utekablí otáh beḥófesh, veshetitén lach kóaḥ.

To a son

יהי רצון שתדע אהבה תמיד, בכל צורותיה׃
שתתן אהבה ותקבל אותה בחפש,
ושתתן לך כח׃

Yehí ratsón shetedá ahavá tamíd, bechól tsurotéha. Shetitén ahavá utekabél otáh beḥófesh, veshetitén lechá kóaḥ.

May you always know love, in all its forms. May you give and receive love freely, and may it bring you strength.

3 · Wisdom

To a daughter

יהי רצון שתבקשי דעת וחכמה,
ושתגדלי בהבנת עצמך והעולם שסביבך׃

Yehí ratsón shetevakshí dá’at veḥochmá, veshetigdelí bahavanát atsméch veha’olám shesevivéch.

To a son

יהי רצון שתבקש דעת וחכמה,
ושתגדל בהבנת עצמך והעולם שסביבך׃

Yehí ratsón shetevakésh dá’at veḥochmá, veshetigdál bahavanát atsmechá veha’olám shesevivchá.

May you seek knowledge and wisdom, and may you grow in understanding of yourself and the world around you.

4 · Joy

To a daughter

יהי רצון שימלאו ימיך שמחה, צחוק ופליאה׃
ושתמצאי תמיד יפי ברגעים הפשוטים שבחיים׃

Yehí ratsón sheyimal’ú yamáyich simḥá, tseḥók uflí’á. Veshetimtse’í tamíd yófi baregaím hapshutím shebaḥayím.

To a son

יהי רצון שימלאו ימיך שמחה, צחוק ופליאה׃
ושתמצא תמיד יפי ברגעים הפשוטים שבחיים׃

Yehí ratsón sheyimal’ú yamécha simḥá, tseḥók uflí’á. Veshetimtsá tamíd yófi baregaím hapshutím shebaḥayím.

May your days be filled with joy, laughter and wonder. May you always find beauty in life’s simplest moments.

5 · Resilience

To a daughter

יהי רצון שתהיי חזקה מול הקשיים,
אמיצה בעתות ספק, ואיתנה בערכיך׃

Yehí ratsón shetihyí ḥazaká mul hakshayím, amitsá be’itót safék, ve’etaná ba’arachayích.

To a son

יהי רצון שתהיה חזק מול הקשיים,
אמיץ בעתות ספק, ואיתן בערכיך׃

Yehí ratsón shetihyé ḥazák mul hakshayím, amíts be’itót safék, ve’etán ba’arachécha.

May you be strong in the face of challenges, courageous in times of uncertainty, and steadfast in your values.

6 · Community

To a daughter

יהי רצון שתהיי תמיד מקפת אנשים
שיוקירו אותך, יתמכו בך וירוממו אותך,
ושימצאו בך אחרים מקור חמלה ונאמנות׃

Yehí ratsón shetihyí tamíd mukéfet anashím sheyokíru otách, yitmechú bach viromemú otách, vesheyimtse’ú bach aḥerím mekór ḥemlá vene’emanút.

To a son

יהי רצון שתהיה תמיד מקף אנשים
שיוקירו אותך, יתמכו בך וירוממו אותך,
ושימצאו בך אחרים מקור חמלה ונאמנות׃

Yehí ratsón shetihyé tamíd mukáf anashím sheyokíru otechá, yitmechú bechá viromemú otechá, vesheyimtse’ú bechá aḥerím mekór ḥemlá vene’emanút.

May you always be surrounded by those who cherish you, support you and uplift you, and may others find in you a source of compassion and loyalty.

7 · Kindness

To a daughter

יהי רצון שיהיה לבך פתוח לצרכי אחרים,
ושחסדך יביא אור לסובבים אותך׃

Yehí ratsón sheyihyé libéch patúaḥ letsorché aḥerím, vesheḥasdéch yaví or lasovevím otách.

To a son

יהי רצון שיהיה לבך פתוח לצרכי אחרים,
ושחסדך יביא אור לסובבים אותך׃

Yehí ratsón sheyihyé libechá patúaḥ letsorché aḥerím, vesheḥasdechá yaví or lasovevím otechá.

May your heart be open to the needs of others, and may your kindness bring light to those around you.

The parents’ blessing

The parents may now say a final blessing:

To a daughter

בתנו, את ברכה לנו׃
יהי רצון שדרכך בעולם הזה תמלא אהבה, משמעות וקרבה׃
ושתדעי תמיד שאת יקרה לנו, בדיוק כמו שאת׃

Biténu, at berachá lánu. Yehí ratsón shedarkéch ba’olám hazé timalé ahavá, mashma’út vekirvá. Veshetede’í tamíd she’át yekará lánu, bediyúk kemó she’át.

To a son

בננו, אתה ברכה לנו׃
יהי רצון שדרכך בעולם הזה תמלא אהבה, משמעות וקרבה׃
ושתדע תמיד שאתה יקר לנו, בדיוק כמו שאתה׃

Benénu, atá berachá lánu. Yehí ratsón shedarkechá ba’olám hazé timalé ahavá, mashma’út vekirvá. Veshetedá tamíd she’atá yakár lánu, bediyúk kemó she’atá.

Our child, you are a blessing to us. May your journey in this world be filled with love, meaning and connection. May you always know that you are cherished, exactly as you are.

The seven blessings may end with a shared moment of quiet. The closing song is chosen by the family.

Choosing a Hebrew name

Many families give a Hebrew name alongside the everyday one, often in memory of a relative who has died, or for a quality they hope the child will grow into. The full form names the child as the son, daughter or child of their parents, for example [name] ben / bat / mi’beit [parents’ names]. Families with two mothers, two fathers, one parent or chosen family simply name the parents they have.

Further reading

Celebrating Brit Shalom by Rebecca Wald and Lisa Braver Moss is a guide to the brit shalom, the non-cutting covenant ceremony for Jewish boys, with ceremonies, blessings and the stories of families who chose it.

Brit Shalom on Amazon.co.ukBrit Shalom on Amazon.com

Planning a naming? Get in touch through our Connect page →